Do you have to love your mother?

I have been debating this topic with friends and family for years. I've had a terrible relationship with my mom since I was a little girl. I always assumed it was because I was the middle child that was opinionated and hyper. My older brother was quiet and stayed in his room and my little sister was always sick. She had a kidney disease and stayed in the hospital a lot. I was the hyper little girl with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes that took the blunt of the her wrath. She has told me on numerous occasions how she doesn't love me or she wish she would have just aborted me. She has to tear me down to the core in order to make herself feel better. I have grown immune to her over the years. We are not capable of a healthy relationship so I just keep my distance. Over the years of her hurtful rants about me I have grown indifferent to her. I don't love her or hate her; I nothing her. My family and friends claim I have to love her because she is my mother, but I don't think I do.

 For as long as I can recall whenever I disagreed with anything she said she immediately tore me down. We never had your typical mother / daughter relationship. I have cut her a lot of slack from my early childhood. She was married to a very mean violent man, my father. I can only imagine what she went through being in her mid - late 20's with three children and husband that beat on you daily. Just a little FYI, my dad never cared much for me either. He asked my mom to abort me so he could get a motorcycle. That's a story for another day. I do hold her accountable for how she has behaved since then. She married my step father 25 years ago, and he is an amazing man. He will have a special place in heaven for tolerating her for so long.

When I started my period, at the age 13, I was called a whore and got the hell beat out of me. She was convinced I had sex and that is why I started my period. I was made to sleep on the couch, on a dirty sheet. A whore wasn't going to bleed on her mattress; I had new a mattress. In 8th grade an idiot boy wrote in my yearbook "I would be a better friend if I gave him a BJ". I didn't see what he wrote until I was home. When she saw this remark she ripped my yearbook to pieces and and beat me with it. Now these jovial tales I could tell all day, but I wouldn't want you to have too much fun today.

Once I was able to move out of her house, when I was 19, I never looked back. However, she still tries to emotionally cripple me. I believe it is what she enjoys the most out of life. She has made a voodoo doll of me, tries to put curses on me, tells her friends I died (one of my favorites). When I have irritated her my pictures are taken down and she tells everyone I died. She has ripped my birth certificate up in front of me. You know, the typical stuff. The latest has been going on for the last few months, I won't bore you with all the details, but I have decided I am finally done with her. I do not acknowledge her behavior any longer. I do not return her nasty phone calls, you should hear the messages. I do not return her mean text messages and I do not go around her any longer. My son and I did not spend the holidays with her instead we went to other family members who love us for us. This has only added fuel to the fire. In the last week she has called me a whore ( nothing new there) wished me dead, wished she had aborted me, can't wait for me to die so she can have the last laugh, hopes my son dies as well.  She doesn't treat my brother or sister this way. She has admitted to me and other people that she doesn't love me like she loves her other kids.Now, here is the question, do you have to love your mother? Just because she gave birth to me, does this give her the right to treat me inhumane. This has been going on for 35 years, when is enough enough?